Celebrity Gossip . . .

I love celebrity gossip, though I will admit that the recent run of Britney/Nicole/Paris/Lindsay/OMG-Heidi-and-Spencer (I honestly have no idea who they are or why they’re famous, and I don’t care enough to Google them) has worn a little thin. I don’t care about TMZ’s recent scoop on Britney’s acne. Or about Hulk Hogan’s daughter’s manager not paying his child support. Or Hayley Duff’s boyfriend moving into her house. Should I care? No. Why does anyone else? I don’t know. It’s always the same gossip from the same sources over and over and over again. And it’s always the same people.

Now, on a side note that will eventually circle back around . . . when I was in high school (around 1997, when my school district first got the internet) I spent a few months obsessed with NME’s website. And then I stopped, with the exception of the odd look every year or so. But I decided, in a moment of absolute boredom last week, to check the site again. And I fell in love with their Daily Gossip section (see, it all circled back). It’s full of bits pulled from various sources, but the utter mundaneness of the oh-so-important celebrity gossip sucked me in. My favorite from today’s Daily Gossip is:

Kanye West enjoyed a portion of large fries at McDonald’s in New Jersey (Daily Mirror).

Today’s Daily Gossip:

http://www.nme.com/news/daily-gossip/37246

Now, wasn’t that fascinating? No need to go on and on about so-and-so’s drinking problem or so-and-so flashing her vagina while getting out of a car or so-and-so’s tabloid-dubbed “Scientolotot.” It’s all about Kanye eating fries at a McDonald’s in New Jersey.

Maybe tomorrow Justin Timberlake will buy a roll of Scotch tape. Woo hoo!

Fun With Bill Bailey

It’s been a little while since my last post, so I come with some Bill Bailey goodness. I first became aware of Bill Bailey when I was in college and stumbled across the first episode of Black Books on Comedy Central. This episode is genius, as his character, Manny, swallows The Little Book of Calm and then proceeds to walk around, Jesus-like, and offer calming advice to any person, or car alarm, in need of calming down. The series is out on dvd – and in Region 1 format – and is worth checking out.

It should also be noted that Bill Bailey is one of the team captains on Never Mind the Buzzcocks and is absolutely hysterical. I recommend checking out the one with Noel Fielding and Donny Tourette. It’s genius.

First up, a pub joke in the style of Geoffrey Chaucer:

And then a lovely little Kraftwerk spoof: